XI. I Am Hard On Myself

Hi, dearest reader! Glad you can be here today.

Today I am writing about a rather sensitive subject for me. This blog is to show the world what INFJs are like behind their walls, though, so I will not hold back.

To put it simply, I am very hard on myself. Like many of my INFJ traits, this is both one of my greatest strengths and one of my greatest weaknesses. On the positive side, it drives me to be the best I possibly can, because I set high standards for myself. It allows me to excel in the things I do, not just pass by doing the bare minimum. On the not-so-positive side, I am cruel to myself whenever I make a mistake.

Although I am very able to forgive others for their mistakes, many times I do not allow myself that same grace. I feel like I “know better”, and therefore should not be allowed to make any errors. Don’t get me wrong, reflecting on mistakes is a great thing– in moderation. Acting too carelessly or beating yourself up too much when you mess up are both very bad things, however.

I tend to gravitate toward doing the latter of those two choices. When I let someone down or hurt their feelings, it’s hard for me to deal with, because my intentions are never malicious. I will lie awake in bed, replaying the situation and every possible way I could have avoided making that mistake. I am my own worst critic.

But you know what? Learning to forgive yourself is just as important as learning to forgive others. It’s something I try to improve on every day. Deep down, I know my intentions areΒ good, and I am quick to forgive others for the hurtful actions they commit against me. So why can’t I allow the same kind of forgiveness for myself? That is not to say I will not feel remorse when I do something wrong, I just want to be ableΒ to look at the situation in a more constructive way. I want to be able to learn from my mistakes. I want to be able to move on and be a better person because of my experiences, not just be shackled to my past. Because of this, I am trying to take it a little easier on myself while still continuing to strive for greatness. Again, balance is what I truly seek– I hope that one day I will be able to find it.

Are you guys critical on yourselves too? I would love to hear what you have to say in the comments section. Talk to you all soon!

Seize the day!
Ryan
21 October 2016 10:10 AM

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10 thoughts on “XI. I Am Hard On Myself

  1. I’m very hard on myself and yes, it’s easy to forgive others but extremely hard to forgive myself. People in general have a hard time forgiving themselves, but I think for me anyway, it’s a longer process.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think that self-reflection can be good in moderation, but just like many things, too much of it is unhealthy. Sometimes it’s better just for me to accept that I was wrong, I learned something from the experience, I will try my hardest not to do it again, and move on. Well that’s the idea at least. Putting that into action can be difficult. I am trying my best to change my mindset in that regard though πŸ™‚

      Seize the day!
      Ryan

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey Ryan, this again is 100% true for me as well. I can remember how my mistakes don’t let me sleep sometimes, and the extent of self-accusation that I apply on myself is really bad. I even remember how badly I have been hating myself for three complete years and even now, for something I did in my schooldays. Yes, I expect perfection out of myself. Great post Ryan, thankyou for writing this. I am glad to be accepted in this community πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • The way I see it, no amount of self-loathing or regret is going to change the situation. As long as you learned something from the experience, it is better just to accept the facts and start to move on with your life. I hope that gives you something to think about! πŸ™‚

      Seize the day!
      Ryan

      Liked by 1 person

          • Yayyy! I’ll be out of this feeling someday, that’s enough to make me smile! Thanks again. But I am hating this too, why did I have to be an INFJ, I’d really want to know what any normal person would do in this situation :/ Sometimes it sucks to be not understood by anybody, except your own self! -.-

            Liked by 1 person

            • Well, don’t forget that “normal people” have their own problems too, and I’m sure many people are jealous of some of the talents we have as well! We are just different in our own way, hope that helps! πŸ™‚

              Seize the day!
              Ryan

              Liked by 1 person

                • It is great to talk with you too! Thank you so much for coming to my corner of the Internet and sharing your thoughts, it means a lot to me! πŸ™‚

                  Seize the day!
                  Ryan

                  Like

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