XVIII. Why Are INFJs Great Counselors?

Happy Friday, dearest reader!

Some of my posts about INFJs have been kind of down recently, so I wanted to do one about why INFJs are awesome. It’s no surprise that INFJs are drawn to the profession of counseling, and even if they are in a different field, that their friends and family naturally seek them out for emotional support. Today I will use my own personal experiences to try to explain why I think that is.

I’ve always found that people were willing to talk about their life stories with me and come to me with their problems. I would expect that for very close friends, but it can happen very quickly with new acquaintances is some circumstances!

So why do I think people are willing to come to me about these things?

Well, first off, I think people perceive that I care about what they have to say and how they feel, which in many cases is true. I think that I am good at drawing out the more sensitive side of people and giving them an environment where they feel like they will not be judged for how they feel. When I am concerned about someone’s well being, I am an active listener. I tend to give emotional support rather than immediately try to provide them with a solution to their problem. When I feel they are ready to hear my actual opinion, however, then I have a vision of how I think they can work to overcome their problems best.

I don’t think that is the whole picture though. Any type could try to do those things when someone asks them for advice, but what makes INFJs one of the best at it? I think the combination of dominant Ni and auxiliary Fe is an excellent combination for counseling. Not everyone is willing to open up on their own regard– some people need a little bit of prompting. I get these feelings that something isn’t exactly right and I act on it. I can’t always pinpoint exactly where those feelings come from, but I am usually correct when the alarms go off about a person. Maybe their eyes look emptier than normal one day. Perhaps they aren’t as enthusiastic about one of their passions. It’s those very small, intangible things that catch my attention.

What next? If I have a deep bond with that person (close friend, family member, etc.) I call it out right away. With someone not as close, I am a little bit more careful. Just because I am willing to talk with someone doesn’t necessarily mean they are ready to completely let it all out– at least not if I am blunt about it. So I am subtle. Instead of bringing up the point overtly, I start to steer it in a more personal direction, asking about more and more until they are almost “in too deep” to turn back.

I find that most people are grateful to have someone that is willing to listen though. In fact, I think we are good counselors because we are so willing to listen. I think there’s two reasons why we like to hear these things. First off, INFJs love to know what makes people tick. It may sound creepy or stalkerish but we love to study people and how their minds work. Secondly, and what is very important for me in helping others, is that I use my own pain to help others with theirs. I use my darkness to help others see the light. Since I am able to absorb people’s emotions, their feelings are my feelings. I can relate to them because I physically feel the pain that they feel when they go through something. I feel like I can understand people well enough to know exactly the first steps to take to resolve their issues, if they are ready to hear what I have to say. I try to be sensitive about people’s feelings, but I don’t sugar coat my advice if they ask for it. I know that the only way for people to overcome their problems is to stop the root cause. I feel like my advice is perfect for an open-minded individual who is willing to take steps to change.

So anyway, there’s the mind of an INFJ from a more positive light. What do you guys think? I’d love to hear what you have to say in the comment section. Talk to you all soon!

Seize the day!
Ryan
4 November 2016 5:33 PM

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4 thoughts on “XVIII. Why Are INFJs Great Counselors?

  1. I think the introverted idea of INFJS makes them truly good listeners! I can also tell if someone special a bit down but tend to jolly them a bit rather than get too deep, especially because I don’t always feel equipped to deal with it. On the other hand sometimes I fell in have overshared in an encounter with an INFJ. Enjoying your blog, since I have been discovering a more introverted side of myself Recently!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am glad you are enjoying the blog! My goal is to show other INFJs that they are not weird for the behaviors that they might not have understood before. 🙂

      If you don’t mind me asking, what was the background of oversharing with the INFJ? I’ve had a similar experience myself and I am curious.

      Seize the day!
      Ryan

      Like

  2. This reminds me of an incident a while back. I met a girl at a birthday party and I guess she felt very comfortable around me, while I just made another friend, and she felt very close, immediately talking about future meet ups and how she really likes me and is glad I’m a friend. We became bust in our lives to actually meet up later, but yeah. I get this a lot from people I meet.

    Liked by 1 person

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