XXVIIII. Dealing With Changes as an INFJ

Hello, dearest reader! I’m grateful to have you with me here today.

There was a lot going on that I needed to attend to in my life, but I am back! It feels wonderful to be writing again.

I got a request from an INFJ to write a post on how to deal with drastic changes in life. I felt that it was a really great topic, as I myself have also struggled with handling change. Here are some points about change that I hope people will find useful to consider, or at least start some interesting discussion! Enjoy.

1. Life is all but defined by change. That may seem self-explanatory on paper, but it is an important idea to consciously acknowledge. There are some things in life that we just can’t change–no matter how hard we try.
2. Resisting inevitable change is emotionally draining, and usually does not accomplish much. This was (and sometimes still is) a very difficult concept for me to grasp, especially when it comes to friendships. I care deeply about my friends, and it hurts a lot to see one of my close friends drifting apart from me. In the past, I would tend to hold on as tightly as I could for as long as I could. This would cause me to get really stressed, and the friend usually just leaves my life like they were going to before anyway! All my effort could have been put to use much more productively if I realistically analyzed the situation and just let go when the time came.
3. Going with the flow makes things hurt a lot less. I have been working on this recently, and it has improved my emotional well-being significantly. My mantra has been to plan actions, not outcomes. This was a critical shift in attitude for me which has made a big difference in my happiness. Instead of planning on something happening and being disappointed when it doesn’t happen, do your best and figure things out from there. If try your best to do the right thing, what else could you have done? Be flexible. Flow like water.
4. Forgive yourself! We all make mistakes sometimes, and it can change our life in ways we wish it didn’t. The best thing to do is to treat yourself kindly, learn something from the situation and move on with that new knowledge. Sometimes I look back on some of the things I’ve done and feel a sense of regret and self-loathing, but I stop myself. I was a different person back then, and those experiences helped me grow as a human being. Be sure to afford yourself the same grace and forgiveness you would give to one of your close friends that made a mistake.
5. Enjoy the ride! It’s important to take a step back every now and then and think about what really matters. Chances are, most of the little inconveniences we go through in life are not going to bother us a year from now. Having an optimistic viewpoint can make those seemingly big changes a lot more small. Life is not a problem to be solved, but an experience to be enjoyed and appreciated.

I hope this was helpful! If there are any other topics you’d like me to write about, let me know in the comment section. Talk to you all soon!

Seize the day!
Ryan
10 July 2017 7:15 PM